it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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