It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
she told me i tasted like america
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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