the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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