now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
