but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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