Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
