I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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