I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
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