those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize