Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
