he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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