areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
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At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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