I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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