just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE