Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Lo siento on account of my penis...