Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We just shotgunned beers for America
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
