the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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