Only a mothe r could love this liver
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I need to align my fucking chakras
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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