I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
