dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
