i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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