Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
