i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
