I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
tonight lets celebrate not being married
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
