You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
