A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
