Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
