She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
They took my balls.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
