Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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