i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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