just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he was CRYING into my vagina
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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