i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
