Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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