My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
