So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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