I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
