I hope mine doesn't look like that
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
