yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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