I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
