The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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