Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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