Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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