they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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