Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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