and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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