He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize