I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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