Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
