how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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