I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
