Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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