dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize