I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
