she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst