Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
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I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!