Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.