just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
